Directional Pad

Directional Pad

A Review Does not Appear in this space.

Posted by King_Andy on July 14th, 2005 at 7:29 pm

As many of you may have noticed, over the past week or so all the more artistic gaming blogs and even major news media outlets have been falling over themselves to praise "Facade", a self-proclaimed "one-act interactive drama". I like to think of myself as someone who enjoys more than twitch reflexes and violence, who can appreciate the finer things in life. (It's not true, but I like to think it.) So I checked out the "Facade" webpage in search of a download that would keep me amused until at least supper-time.

First I downloaded the giant 800MB+ file and ran the installer. Of course, Cedega refused to run the installer under Linux. No problem. I was prepared for this, and quickly swapped out my hard drives and rebooted to Windows. I tried to install again and ... "NO SPACE LEFT ON DEVICE". I double-check and see that my hard-drive has tens of gigabytes left on it. So what's the problem? I'm a little slow at times, but at this point it finally dawned on me that the installer hadn't asked me where I wanted to put this software. I guess it's too artistic to be bothered with such details. By now I'm starting to get frustrated, so I do something against all my instincts; I read the documentation, and I find this gem : became too much of a programming hassle to get Façade working on drives other than C:. The installer requires that Façade be installed to the C: drive.

This can only mean one thing : hard-coded path names. Now, I try to be thankful for the marvelous bounty of free stuff the Internet provides, Really I do, but if you program using hard-coded pathnames then I hate you and pray for your death. (Don't worry too much about it though, I'm an atheist.)

For reasons I don't feel like going into my C: 'drive' is a 1.0 gigabyte partition that I use only for my static swap file. I'm not sure how it wound up being lettered as 'C' while my main partition became 'D', but I don't worry about it, because it doesn't matter. . . Except to "Facade".

However, all hope was not (yet) lost! The documentation told me that I needed "1.0GB" of free space on my C: drive! Excellent! (For those of you not taking notes, My C: 'drive' is precisely 1.0GB.) So I disabled my swap file (and rebooted!) and tried it again! Guess what? No space left on device! Seems it doesn't need 1.0GB, it needs 1.2GB. A minor difference, to be sure, but if you add POINT ZERO to the end of a number I expect it to be within a tenth of a unit of that number. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT POINT ZERO MEANS!

And That Ladies and Gentlemen, is why a review of Facade, Procedural Art's proof-of-concept demo of exciting new techniques in interactive storytelling and human-AI social interaction, does not appear on this site, despite my best intentions. I'll do better next time. I promise.

Click here and download it for yourself and then you can tell me what it's like in our forums, because I'm really very curious about it. Thanks.

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