KillerNic: XTREEM NETWORKING!!
Posted by Metallian on July 14th, 2006 at 12:24 am
Network interface cards are pretty run of the mill nowadays. In the rare instance your motherboard doesn't have one integrated, it's a matter of a car trip and 5 dollars to pick up one that's the same as all the rest. Right?
¡INCORRECTO SEÑOR! your pathetic excuse for a NIC disgusts me and it's all I can do to keep from simultaneously vomiting and laughing at the mere thought of it. Think of it! Wasting that miniscule quantity of processor cycles on networking! That's not X-TREME at all. Luckily Killer Nic is here to slap the sense back into you with their high performance, gamer oriented NIC.
Yes! That's right! With its own network processing and memory, no longer will you be counted among the plebians that are losing 2FPS to the ungodly processor load of network operations! With such advanced and X-TREME buzzwo... er, features such as UltimatePing™ and MaxFPS™, you will have such a blazing advantage over other gamers you probably won't even have to try! And thanks to Killer Nic's "Flexible Network Architecture" (FNA)... thing, the community can now write FNApps (not to be confused with the flavored liqueurs) for the overwhelming power of Killer Nic to run! X-TREME!!! The awe-inspiring flexibility of Killer Nic doesn't end there! with PingThrottle™, you can actually... add... latency. For... that reason, you know, where everybody wants to make their ping worse. ...I dunno. Anyway, Killer Nic also features a usb port, presumably to negate any positive effects it provides, and art direction provided by the Klingon Empire.
Prices have not yet been announced but ask yourself, can you really afford to live without it?
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